Harry Potter and the Missing Chapter
by Gillikin
Summary: The Missing Chapter from HP:OOTP, REVEALED! Warning, I must be insane.


-Harry Potter and the Missing Chapter-  
  
by Gillikin  
  
Harry was angry. Very angry. He was in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Deloris Umbridge was sitting there, all toad like. She really looked like a toad. If she looked more like a toad, she would have been one, but Harry couldn't have been more angry than he already was.   
  
"Hem, hem," said Deloris, in her toadesque voice, "Will you please turn to page 245, and read 'What to do when a Dark Wizard has your Balls to the Wall'. Girls may re-read the previous chapter."  
  
Hermione did something, but nobody could remember just what.   
  
Ron was staring at his prefect badge. "I'm a prefect!" he chirped.  
  
Upstairs in his office, Dumbledore sat, not talking to Harry.  
  
"DOOM," said Harry. He looked out the window and watched as one of the skeletal horses ate some of the pansies from the front lawn.   
  
Hermione kept doing that one thing.  
  
Ron told Harry to not be so angry.   
  
Harry yelled, "I AM ANGRY I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY YOU ARE ALL STUPID AND DUMB."  
  
Dobby waltzed in, wearing about 87 hats. Then he waltzed out again.  
  
Suddenly in the Gryffindor Common Room, something happened! Everyone turned their heads at the occurrence of such an experience. "Oh, wait," said one of the Weasley twins, "It's just a pile of crawling dirty laundry." Everyone went back to not doing anything.  
  
The next day!  
  
"I AM FILLED WITH ANGER," said Harry, on his way to transfiguration.  
  
"Why?" asked Ron.  
  
"BECAUSE NO ONE BELIEVES ME."  
  
"I believe you," said Ginny.  
  
"BUG OFF, YOU DO NOT COUNT."  
  
The next day!  
  
"I AM FILLED WITH ANGER," said Harry.  
  
"Um, we already did this one," said Ron.  
  
"Oh, right. Next scene!" Harry shouted.  
  
"Wait, I don't get to be in this one?" asked Ginny.  
  
"No!" both the boys shouted.   
  
Later!  
  
"My arms are getting tired," said the reader. "This book sure is heavy."  
  
Luna Lovegood walked into the room. "I am comedic relief from the angst that Harry is producing. Look at me! I am filled with whimsy!"   
  
"What is whimsy?" asked Ron. "Is it something that I, as a prefect, should disapprove of?"  
  
"The Prime Minister eats puppies for breakfast, you know," said Luna.  
  
"I DO NOT LIKE THE PRIME MINISTER HE DOES NOT BELIEVE ME," said Harry in the softest voice anyone had heard from him in a week.  
  
"Off-the-wall comment," Luna quipped.  
  
"STATEMENT OF ANGER IN CAPS," Harry answered.  
  
"I am not drunk!" said Hagrid. "Merely beat up by a gian'. But there is no gian'. Unless yer special like Ron an' Harry an' Hermione, then there is a gian'. But there is no gian' for the rest of ye'."  
  
"We do not like things!" said the centaurs.   
  
"I can see into the future," said Firenze. "But I'm not telling any of you anything, but I'm filled with mystery, so you'll be fine with that."  
  
"I, too, can see into the future!" said Professor Trelawny. "Watch! You're going to blink! ... Ha, I am right! Now, someone in the castle will be angry!" Harry walked by at that moment. "Once again, I am right!"  
  
"Hem, hem," said Deloris. "As the Grand High School Inquisitor of Powah, I would like to declare a new rule. Rule #731 - 'Deloris Umbridge will never again be referred to as being toad-like.' Thank you." She then hopped out of the room like the frog that she was.  
  
Hermione kept doing that one thing. Little trooper.   
  
Harry spent the evening with the frogesque Deloris Umbridge, writing out 'I am a smarmy Brit.' until he passed out from blood loss. It made Harry angry.  
  
"Cho, I love you," said Harry.  
  
"What?" said Cho. "I am a girl and you cannot understand me."  
  
"What?" said Harry.   
  
"I am sad that Cedric is dead, do something about that Harry," said Cho.  
  
"What?" said Harry.  
  
"I hate you, go away," said Cho.  
  
"FILLED WITH BURNING," Harry cried.  
  
Suddenly, Sirius was there in a fireplace! "Harry, get me in trouble!" he said. "Possibly yourself, too! Disobey the rules! Be a c4mp3r! Zerg rush! Bite 'em, bite 'em good!"  
  
"You shouldn't do that," said Ron.   
  
Dobby waltzed in once again, this time wearing the hats -and- about 37 scarves at once. "Harry Potter, sir, you should be good!"  
  
"What?" asked Harry.  
  
"He's still in shock from the Cho thing," said Hermione.   
  
Suddenly Harry had his dream about walking in a hallway. It was a long hall way. A long hallway. It was dark. A long, dark hallway. There was a door. A door in a long, dark hallway. He was walking. Walking in the long, dark hallway with a door. Then the dream ended. "Ow," said Harry as he rubbed his scar.  
  
"DOOM," said Harry once again. Just for good measure.  
  
THE END 


End file.
